have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
