this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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