Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
