i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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