you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
