so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
