We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
