i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize