Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
