I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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