girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
