writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
