On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
