Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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