dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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