Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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