3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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