I hate your face
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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