They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
