he looks like a really good dad on facebook
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
