I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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