guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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