I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
