your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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