I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
