You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
