She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
