My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
