You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if only i could text you this smell
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
