he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
