just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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