dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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