He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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