we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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