every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
