Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
This toilet bowl is my home.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
