Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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