There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Fuck appropriateness.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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