I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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