someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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