i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
