Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
