I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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