im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
