I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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