We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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