guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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