you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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