Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
