I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
