I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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