it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
