You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
