I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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