Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
