When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
