He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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