he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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