just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
