Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
