She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
