I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
All the doctor said was why
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
