she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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