The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
